I knew about Buku Fixi few years ago, together with Lejen Press. Bought few Lejen Press books before, but Kelabu is my first one with Fixi (I think) and the very first item I bought via Carousell :D
I feel like totally helpless and jobless and penniless right now. Expect more book reviews as I can't allocate my time and saving for any travelling yet. ;p
I just realized I have few books still pending to be read since Big Bad Wolf last year (my first BBW ever). Most books were around RM10 and that time, I decided to buy more fiction / stories instead of non-fictional that I prefer more - my aim was to improve my creativity and imagination lol. -_-'
So, this will be the first book (from BBW) that I finally finished reading. Told ya, I read many books at one time, still trying my best to finish each of them. :)
Front cover.
Title: Until I Say Good-Bye: My Year of Living With Joy Author: Susan Spencer-Wendel (with Bret Witter) Pages: 376 Publisher: Two Roads Publication Date: 2013
Synopsis:
It is about Susan who was diagnosed with ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis) - a degenerative disease that causes a person to lose muscle ability - from grip, movement and eventually breathing. She had a happy family with her husband John, 3 young children - Aubrey, Marina and Wesley. ALS is a disease said to be more disaster than a death itself. T_T
She tried her best to live the life to the fullest, realizing she had only little time to spend with people she loved.
It is a true story, anyway.
Back cover.
There are honestly so many things to ponder from the very beginning of the book till the last page. The story makes my heart beats like a roller coaster, with happiness to see how she accepted the fate, with sadness to see how she changed due to ALS, with excitement about her family, with respect to her husband. :)
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1. Acceptance.
Yes, for every changes that we want to make to ourselves, one of the first key is to accept the fact.
You want to quit smoking? Accept the fact that it is killing ourselves and beloved people around us.
You want to move on? Accept the fact that you guys are not meant to be together.
Someone's leaving? Accept the fact that you will meet them again, insyAllah.
Someone's leaving eternally? Accept the fact it is time for them.
Easier said than done. YES, I TOTALLY AGREE.
Seriously.
IT IS SO FREAKING HARD.
I am honestly still struggling with acceptance.
"Well, if you can't change the situation, change your attitude." "You are the master of your mind."
But a thing I learned from Susan is to slowly accept it and move on to live the life. We can't do changes to the situation but our attitude towards it. If we want to live the rest of the life in sadness or relief, we choose.
2. Leaving?
I used to wonder which one is more painful, to leave behind someone we love or the send someone away?
The survivor will experience the same grief, will live the grief of the children, then must assume the responsibilities and slog on.
Since I studied far from home since I was in high school, I was always the one leaving. I couldn't put myself yet in that situation when other people leaving - till the day, I sent my parents off at the airport or wave goodbye to my family members, that is even painful. The insecurities of are they going to be safe through out the journey, when will they arrive safely, will there be anything happen on board. Small things like that.
But, both are painful though.
I don't usually cry.
But, once I cried.....
I love the way how her husband patiently help her after the diagnosis. Read the book to imagine the struggle of John, but he averagely keep being calm most of the times :)
3. No name for that.
If you followed this blog for a while, my family and I lost our abang long last year, to be exact this 20th will be the first year he left us.
"And I believe the absolute worst thing that can happen to a human being is to have a child die."
Yes, it is.
A wife lost a husband.
A son lost a parent.
They are painful. Yes, there are.
We have names for that.
But if a parent lost a child?
4. Think about us, but others as well.
Before we decided on anything, put ourselves first in the decision making. Why? We are talking about the path what we will take, the one we will personally do.
But, don't forget that we still have our family that love us. This is a reminder for myself. There are things I love to do but my parents don't feel good about them. Parents are being parents, cautious parents.
Keep strong.
This was when Susan had a suicidal thought. And I adore how she dismissed it.
5. Remove the want, and you remove the pain.
Sometimes, when we feel ready to something, that something does not come eventually.
I am not sure about you guys, but for me, things happened when I least expect of it.
That interesting secret.
I am getting tired of uncertainty of human's plans.
I still plan, still work my energy and mental hard to achieve it, but I sometimes don't really know when to stop. Is it okay to push myself too much?
Remove the want, and you remove the pain.
Maybe I should give a try?
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Yeah, don't cry.
This book really encourage me to appreciate all the little things I have in life. From simple gestures of people, to something unimaginable.
Like a bucket list.
If you guys are wondering about the author to this day, she passed away on June 4, 2014 at the age of 47 leaving her husband and 3 young children.
And if we still remember the viral ice bucket challenge, it is actually an attempt to raise awareness of ALS and at the same time, trying to gain as much donation as they can to help with research on ALS cure.
She was such a strong lady and mum. :)
My rating: ★★★★☆
The book plays around with the dates, time etc. Although I love time travel genre, but it is hard to keep on checking the time of the plot.
The rest, it is really a nice book to read. Emotional one.
During their first trip to Czech in the middle of 2015, we ran out of time to explore Prague itself. Lol. I was so eager last time to take them to different cities in Europe and turned out I forgot to allocate more days to explore Prague itself. -__-'
But, alhamdulillah this time, more places checked!
14th July 2017 Pet?ín hill, Czech
With Pet?ín Lookout Tower (Pet?ínská rozhledna)
Finally they managed to get to the top! The queue for the funicular was not that short but I was glad we had few unplanned hours to spend. :)
The day after my graduation day was when our Europe road trip started. We were expected to pick up our pre-booked rental car at about 3pm when unexpectedly it was delayed till 6pm.
Early morning that day, I took a tram from our Airbnb to the city center to get my degree's translation done, together with the other Malaysians. Since the scroll was very big, we need to make a notarized, smaller copy (A4) - and of course it costs money. Then, we left the smaller copy at the translation office.
Guess what, the translator was extremely old and we were told that he is currently the one and only official Latin to English translator in Czech! We kept praying that he will remain healthy as long as he can :)
Summer with flowers. <3
Done with all procedures, I rushed back to the Airbnb to help with check out. With Uber, we took our luggages straight to car rental office and planned to store our luggage there for few hours while waiting for the car to be ready.
Things happened, plan changed.
So, the car will only be ready around 6pm.
What to do?
Let's explore Prague!
Of course not really by foot but public transportation :D Hehe
click here to read and to enjoy the views from this hill :)
Main aci nyorok ;p This was how I enjoyed my parents' old school jokes... ambik je gambar nanti kacau diorang balik :)
Sometimes, I feel like I am just a photographer for their trip. Haha. I wonder how older generation can maintain the sweetness and harmony in their relationship? T__T
The queue for funicular. You can always use the same tickets for tram / metro as long as they are still valid.
View from the funicular.
My mum requested her picture with these roses :D
Homemade lemonade - already missing this T__T
This lemonade was nicely done and delicious! Always ask about the ingredients if you come to Czech as they sometimes don't consider wine / beer as alcohol (as these are totally normal for them). Don't simply ask about alcohol okay?
Does it have alcohol, beer or wine? Má alkohol, pivo nebo víno?
Ginger for ayah, lemon for mak, strawberry for me.
Around 5pm+, the car rental company texted me that the car was ready for pick up. :)
After 5 years, I returned to this town - still lovely as it used to be, still packed with tourists especially Asians. I am telling, there are so many Asians (including us) in ?esky Krumlov.
11th July 2017
?esky Krumlov, Czech
This time, I went there by bus with my parents. A month before our trip, I've checked Student Agency bus for the tickets. There were approximately 30 empty seats left. Not really sure why I postponed buying it to last minute. Later, I find out all early morning trips from Prague to Cesky Krumlov were sold out!
Student Agency is my favourite bus company in Czech, I was a bit blurred of other alternative of buses. After searching around, I managed to buy tickets from another company (M Express - 215kc/person/way) but unfortunately the journey was longer and even more expensive. It took almost 4 hours when it supposed to be only 3 hours by Student Agency (200kc/person/way). T_T
The weather was so good for ice-creams. :)
Since I've shared my trip to Cesky Krumlov before, I don't think I will share more details about this place in this blog post. You can check my previous posts:
My parents at the Old Town, they love matching clothes like this. Haha.
A part of the castle.
Restaurant with terrace.
Starting with this town, I realized that I need to locate public toilets in all places that we will go. My parents need toilets more frequent - a sign they are getting older. T__T
A thing I am impressed with my parents are they are getting used to dry toilets and take wudu' in public toilets. :D I usually accompany my mum while my dad take care of our belongings, then we take turns.
Another thing if we are travelling to a place without prayer rooms, always prepare qiblah compass, okay? It does not matter if we use physical compass or any apps, as long as we put priority to our prayers even though we are 'musafir'. My parents are getting used to pray in public as well, alhamdulillah!
That yellow bag - our food bag. It became one of the best bag ever!
Castle - An example to show my parents how to snap millennial's style of pictures. HEHE. I mean, how straight all lines should be etc.
Today marks exactly 2 months since my graduation day - the time I became an alumni of Charles University in Prague.
Mixed feeling, it is normal right?
13th July 2017
Karolinum, Prague, Czech
The Asians.
Well, graduation ceremony in Czech is not the same as in our country. There, it is only a small occasion - but it feels so meaningful after years of hard works, prayers, laugh and tears.
For my batch, the were about 44 graduates. And we were divided into two groups - 12pm and 1.30pm. So, you can see that one specific ceremony only take 1 hour +-. There was less protocol compared to Malaysia.. maybe. I can't recall the last time I joined a convocation here.
In front of Karolinum.
So far that I know, Karolinum (or the site where Karolinum is located today) was actually a residence and later became lecture rooms etc for Charles University. It is now known as National Cultural Monument in Czech Republic. So, if you guys have the chance to visit Prague, you can put this building in your plan. :)
Charles University (English) Univerzita Karlova (Czech) Universitas Carolina (Latin)
The hall. Behind us is where the rector, dean, senate members will sit. The graduates will stand in the middle of the hall, with parents and family members on both sides. That statue is King Charles.
The Senates.
We didn't really have proper rehearsal. Every graduate was given a briefing just few minutes before we enter the hall. Haha. And graduates don't wear graduation robes as they are only for the Senates. But, we rented the robes later, for the sake of memories :)
The flow of graduation ceremony was roughly like this:1. All guests took their seats. 2. Rector, dean, senate members entered the hall, followed by graduates. 3. Introductory speech by the dean. 4. The Oath. 5. The scroll. 6. Speech by Valedictorian. 7. Shake hands with the senate members.
That's it :D
The graduates.
Usually, the graduates will be standing according to alphabetical order. And through out 6 years, I was always the first person to be called for anything T_T. I thought I would be standing the most front that time. Haha.
But the tall guy, Matt in front of me was the best student - he received the red scroll! I mentioned him once in this blog - my first official run in Czech. Czech has different grading than Malaysia - if students in Malaysia aimed for the highest 4.0, here in Czech the highest grade is 1.0.
So, red scroll means, his average results can be around 1.0 (or I can say four flat / close to four flat in Malaysia).
I am not sure her position - but she was kind of the emcee.
The oath was delivered in Latin by our Promoter (the one who will give away the scroll). And the graduates will answer the Promoter with Spondeo Ac Polliceor which means I Promise & Swear.
See the guy in red robe. We need to put our fingers to the stuff he hold while saying Spondeo Ac Polliceor to the Promoter.
The Promoter. There were official photographs during the ceremony but I am too lazy to buy T_T
Our Valedictorian. Viktoria used to be our group leader since the first year.
Shake hands session with the Senates.
With our family members.
This is how the scroll looks like - it is in Latin and we need to officially translate it to English first before it can be used in Malaysia.
The Malaysians :)
Alhamdulillah.
Alhamdulillah.
Alhamdulillah.
Thanks for the prayers, guys.
Keep on praying for our journey as your future doctors :)